You never said you wanted to drive a Honda Accord. 
That poster on your wall was of something offensively badass and lust worthy. You swore your first car was going to shoot fire and roar like some hell beast. 
Now you’ve got 4 doors of boring and can go 0-60 eventually. You’re just another off-white copy of a copy that is clogging up the freeway of life. 
Fuck boring. Let’s get that murderous machine we always wanted. Let’s make weird and incredible creations nobody else on the road can have and be the awesomer kid rolling down the block. 

You never said you wanted to drive a Honda Accord. 

That poster on your wall was of something offensively badass and lust worthy. You swore your first car was going to shoot fire and roar like some hell beast. 

Now you’ve got 4 doors of boring and can go 0-60 eventually. You’re just another off-white copy of a copy that is clogging up the freeway of life. 

Fuck boring. Let’s get that murderous machine we always wanted. Let’s make weird and incredible creations nobody else on the road can have and be the awesomer kid rolling down the block. 

Bunk beds were awesomer. 
As the most deadly of sleeping arrangements, top bunk was where kings of boys laid their heads for rest. These towers of slumber turned ordinary bedrooms into the envy of all kid’s dreams. And, every boy became a man when he first fell from the top bunk. 
Now you probably have a boring Ikea Malm resting quarters with an unnecessary collection of decorative throw pillows. Your friends don’t envy what’s in your room anymore. 
Get out your hand hat and hand tools, it’s time to add that extra story to your sleeping quarters. The top spot can be ours again, if we’ve got the balls to go bunk. So, let’s be awesomer again by reaching for the sky with our bed. 

Bunk beds were awesomer. 

As the most deadly of sleeping arrangements, top bunk was where kings of boys laid their heads for rest. These towers of slumber turned ordinary bedrooms into the envy of all kid’s dreams. And, every boy became a man when he first fell from the top bunk. 

Now you probably have a boring Ikea Malm resting quarters with an unnecessary collection of decorative throw pillows. Your friends don’t envy what’s in your room anymore. 

Get out your hand hat and hand tools, it’s time to add that extra story to your sleeping quarters. The top spot can be ours again, if we’ve got the balls to go bunk. So, let’s be awesomer again by reaching for the sky with our bed. 

Your role models were awesomer. 
You looked up to everyone, but especially ass-kicking cyborg men with a murder thirst for justice. You swore a sticky-fingered oath on your stack of comics to become the right hand of the law and the fist of righteousness.  
Now you idolize celebrities and make heroes out of morally corrupt men. You model your life after roles nobody should play. 
Let’s idolize the heroes again. Let’s guide our life after the brave and follow in the footsteps of those who make this world better. Let’s be awesomer again by looking back up to those who deserve it. 

Your role models were awesomer. 

You looked up to everyone, but especially ass-kicking cyborg men with a murder thirst for justice. You swore a sticky-fingered oath on your stack of comics to become the right hand of the law and the fist of righteousness.  

Now you idolize celebrities and make heroes out of morally corrupt men. You model your life after roles nobody should play. 

Let’s idolize the heroes again. Let’s guide our life after the brave and follow in the footsteps of those who make this world better. Let’s be awesomer again by looking back up to those who deserve it. 

You literally rocked out with your cock out. 

Big thanks to Marianne for the submission. 

You were the Mad Max of making backyard death machines. With a fist full of throttle, you chased sky and lived like you were already a legend. 

Get old but never grow up. 

Via. 

Sitting too close to the TV was awesomer. 

Fuck needing a big screen. Your broke-ass budget didn’t have room for hundreds on inches of wall to wall entertainment. So, you saddled up to the sad sized screen to make every cartoon feel like you were right in the action. 

You sit at an age appropriate, prescription distance from your favorite shows. You’re not up close, or personal with anything anymore. 

Let’s get uncomfortably close again. Let’s sit so close that our big screen feels like IMAX. Let’s enjoy it too much, like an awesomer kid would. 

Big thanks to Eve for the photo. Check out her other awesomer kid photos here. 

When nature called, you answered. 

Your wolf-wild spirit had you pissing in the wind of life and in the front yard. Potty training was a systematic solution set in place to tame your rebel yell. The world was your toilet, so you aired out your dice wherever you damn well pleased and went with the flow. 

You’ve been house broken now. You put the toilet seat down and pee politely, but never in outside.

We’re ferrel beasts born to mother nature, and she’s calling us back. Let’s escape the pee-lockers and run back into the woods. Let’s water the wild life and be awesomer all over again.  

Big thanks to  for the submission.